So the children came back to me today after having spent 4 nights (in the legal world, days don’t count: it’s the nights that are important, so our life is now meted out in “overnights”) with their dad, playing video games on a brand-spanking-new GameCube, whatever that is (I sent CRAYONS with them! CRAYONS! They said they had nothing to do there and they have no toys there so I sent crayons because they all draw constantly like crazed Jackson Pollacks, and he gets them a GameCube? Which they have no idea what it is?), which is totally against everything our family always stood for and also violates the bylaws or something of the school they attend, which states unequivocably that Children Must Not Watch TV, which I totally agree with, and anyway here they are again trying their hardest to get back in the groove that is “home” for them, and they’re doing great except for poor little Eric.
Evidently Eric has been fed several boatloads of corn lately. We all know that in animals, corn = methane = gas = ozone holes. So Eric’s posterior is now contributing to global warming. Sorry, ya’ll.
But in a small boy, this amount of gas = Great Distress . And he wants us all to know about it.
Michael, being an RN, was brave enough to check it out. Thoroughly. THOROUGHLY, I tell you. Apparently we own a box of latex exam gloves.
I’ll let you know how it all comes out.
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