Oh. My. God. If there was a god, I mean.
I just read today’s installment from supercyberhero Heather in which she reminisces about her college days of eating nothing but cereal.
I so was going to write about cereal today, too! Really! I was! C’mon, really!
So we must be linked psychically or something.
When I was growing up, there was nothing I liked better than receiving a tiny Dixie cup of M&M’s (the plain ones) on a rainy day so I could curl up on my pink-flowered bedspread with three or four of our cats and read “Little Women” for the sixteenth time.
That may have been the start of my eating disorder.
I was a skinny kid. Not that I thought so at the time, but in looking at the photos, yep. Until I turned 16 and could get a job. Some of my friends worked at McDonald’s, one pariah worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken (and I’ve heard the stories about what goes IN the “chicken”…..not the only reason I won’t eat there, but compelling, quite compelling), but the coolest of the drama geeks worked at Winchell’s, the donut shop (not “doughnut” — that would be too formal for a place where you can buy something covered in colored “jimmies”). In my year-and-a-half sentence of hot grease-laden air and cold dingy gray mopwater, I gained probably 25 pounds.
It must have been the grease in the air, NOT from eating donuts NO NO NO, because TO THIS DAY I won’t eat a donut. Except Krispy Kreme, of course. But I digress.
So fast-forward to driving around in my parent’s 1974 Honda Civic, getting high and fulfilling munchie cravings with a gigantic box of Froot Loops.
And when I got out of the military a couple of years later (long story), the first thing I did was to buy a huge box of Corn Pops.
Then, years of Lucky Charms, Sugar Smacks (now called Honey Smacks? like that makes them healthier? is anyone fooled by that?), Corn Pops, and Froot Loops. Oh, and Honeycomb.
Mmm. There’s nothing better than digging into a fresh box of Froot Loops while watching Bob Barker’s hairpiece jiggle not an iota while some fat t-shirt clad woman kisses him slobberingly after winning a washer and dryer and a year’s worth of Jiffy Pop on The Price Is Right.
But these days, my pantry is filled with three kinds of oats for porridge, miso, bagels, and the only cereal is Purely-Ohs, a Cheerio-based organic sawdust product. Mmm.
So I’ve decided that if one day my family all suddenly disappears, the first thing I’m going to do is go to the store and load up on Corn Pops and Sugar Smacks.
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