Dear Neighbor-Across-the-Way,
Although I’ve written you before, perhaps my letter got lost in the mail. Whatever.
Anyway, I wish to remind you about your laundry. I realize, what with the two children and all (I have three), that your laundry must pile up at times.
But I’m wondering if you realize, well, reminding you really, that I can see CLEARLY into your house? Without even trying? All I have to do is go up or down my stairs and for some some several seconds I am presented, against my will, with an embarrassing view inside your house. After all, your poorly-designed space-waster of a grand 2-story foyer is exactly across from my identical one, just mere feet away! So the time I saw you naked in that foyer? (Those windows are huge, aren’t they? And none of us – obviously – have window coverings of any sort for them, how could we?) Remember? I thought that would be message enough for you about what a fishbowl you live in, but I guess not.
So here’s a little piece of advice just from me to you: DO YOUR DAMN LAUNDRY! Or at least hide it somewhere.
Love,
Me
P.S. What’s up with that shoe that was on your porch for four days? Not that I’m, like, stalking you or anything.
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