Eric has been walking.
Oh, he’s sneaky about it, all right. He must think we don’t notice, but all of a sudden he’s been intentionally standing up a foot or two from things and then walking to them. With no suggestion or insistence from anyone.
How can this be? How can this child, who so many would regard as deficient in some way (after all, here he is two months past his third birthday and we’re talking about him walking?), have the drive and determination to get up repeatedly and practice something completely on his own, like anyone else?
How can he, indeed.
Given pause for thought by a discussion on Pinwheels, I have been thinking back to my expectations of Eric when he was an infant. Frankly, I had no idea what a diagnosis of Down syndrome meant. Eric’s father chose to more or less go into a denial mode and refused to allow me even to discuss it with anyone until I finally got tired of the elephant in the room when Eric was almost a year old. When I finally could bring myself to do so, I could read all day things on the internet that stated “people with Down syndrome can live independently and have a full life,” but I had no idea what that really meant.
Does it mean, for instance, that he’ll have romantic relationships? Will he be a grocery bagger, or something else? Frankly, I had difficulty imagining this tiny jaundiced failing-to-thrive boy would even walk, let alone grow up and do anything.
So here we are at perhaps one of the most visible milestones in a parent’s life, when their child crosses the bridge from baby to child on his own two feet, when the parent can finally see more of the child’s road ahead. It’s funny how it’s the child’s change in perspective from floor-level on four crawling legs to countertop-level on two upright feet that allows the parent’s change in perspective as well.
I still don’t know where Eric’s road will lead him. But I do know that he truly does possess the skills that will enable him to get there.
Way to go, Eric. Mama is so very proud of you.
[tags]down syndrome, eric, walking, children[/tags]
January 10th, 2007 at 1:36 am
Go Eric!
Sneaky of him to practice on his own! Time for a picture update I think!
January 10th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Rock on, Eric!
(lightspring: Go get him a cookie. Now.)
January 10th, 2007 at 9:30 am
Actually, the very first time he did this (which seemed like a flucke at the time), was for M&M’s, which he had just discovered. I hadn’t thought of the Cookie Lure/Reward Program; great idea!
January 10th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
I love this post. I love it because it mirrors life at my house (we too have a secret walker) and because your early days as mom to Evan remind me of my own. I had trouble thinking about the future with Avery, so I didn’t, my avoidance response to something that scared me.
What I think now is how sad, I was robbed of the chance to dream and imagine. I let myself be robbed, of course, but still. That is why I am so grateful to parents who share their stories of their lives with their kids…it gives us all new stories, ones full of hope and things to dream of.
January 10th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Oh ugg. My mind said Eric and my hands typed Evan; who is a lovely boy too but not the one I was writing about. My apologies!
January 10th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
That’s okay..I can spell “fluke”.
Here’s something I responded to Jennifer privately, but maybe it belongs here too:
I think what makes it all the more important to allow yourself to have those dreams for your children, all of them, is that in doing so you can open up the possibilities for them. Was I strangling Eric by my avoidance and fear of who he was (and what it said about me; that was the problem The Ex had)? I think so. Interestingly but not surprisingly, he began to thrive when I was able to embrace him fully for who he was. Not that I didn’t love him before that, because I did, but there were some scary mixed feelings in along with it, feelings of loss and betrayal and all sorts of things. Eric has taught me so much about unconditional love, both giving and receiving it. He’s amazing, and my life would not be the same without him.
January 10th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Absolutely. Thank you for saying something so beautifully that is in my heart, too. I wish more people could understand these feelings; they are not platitudes, they are real life, and they are so powerful. Truly, they are life-changing.
January 10th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
Beautiful post, written so well.
January 11th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Wow you guys, wow. Makes me think, or re-think, a lot about things you had channeled for me Karen. hmm…
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world via this blog. I think I am so afraid of what might be, that I can’t just sit back and let what ever is happen.
January 11th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
This post so beautifully explains what so many of us feel, yet are often unable to put into words. I learned very early that my daughters will do what they want to do when they want to do it. My middle one is SO stubborn and often refuses to display skills she is very capable of doing, simply because we want her to. She has passed this on to her younger sister, so we now have TWO stubborn little girls…and I wouldn’t have it any other way!