Lion and Magic Boy

I know, you’re on the edge of your seats because you haven’t reached proper closure over the matter of my cat and his bloody leaking ass.

I don’t blame you. I find it immensely interesting myself.

I will mention that the scratches are healing nicely from giving attempting to give the cat his anti-ass-blood medication. They probably won’t scar. Much.

And I will mention also that apparently he can get by okay with just one pill every other day, instead of twice every day. Which is very good news.

And I will mention also that either I have lost my sense of smell again, or the output is not as heinous and room-clearing as it had been. Which is very good news indeed.

But.

This morning, when I descended the stairs on what I might add was a morning of The Two Hour Delay (due to the .75 inches of snow we received last night, completely closing Eric’s school), I noticed something unsual on the rug near the front door. Spots of, what is that? Cat-throw-up? Ew. Okay, whatever, I’ll clean it up (like anyone else here is going to).

Later, on the bench near the window, as Eric waved goodbye to Nathaniel and Serena as they clambered into their two-hour-delayed bus, I noticed some, spillage? On the bench? Of some, wet substance? Okay, whatever, I’ll clean it up.

I wonder what that is?

Hey! I should call the vet, and see what he thought of the stool sample I left for him last week (the cat’s stool sample. Don’t even go there).

Me: Hi, vet?

Vet: Hi.

Me: So, what did you think about the sample I left for you?

Vet: Very nice. But negative. No parasites.

Me: Oh.

Me: What does that mean?

Vet: Well, you could biopsy a section of his intestine…..

Me: Surgery? On my cat?

Vet: Well, it depends how far you want to go with this.

[are cats that expendable? He's already part of the family!]

Me: Is there anything else?

Vet: Well, you could give him steroids. How are you at giving him pills?

Me: I don’t want to talk about it.

Vet: Well, you could bring me a better sample. That one was mostly, uh, litter.

[I got what I could. I am not a professional stool sample collector. Besides, the container was like an inch long. What am I supposed to fit in that?]

Vet: And I can give you more of the medication to, uh, stop him up.

[I love those medical terms]

Me: So, my options are, surgery, medication, or more medication? For the rest of his life? Because we don’t know what’s wrong?

Vet: Yep.

Okay then. While I was on the phone with the vet, I noticed yet another wettish spot (what is that??), or series of spots, behind the chair that Eric deliberately pretends to fall off of. Okay, [sigh] I’ll clean it up.

This is about the time it dawned on me that all these wettish spots are not cat-throw-up, no not at all, in fact I would be very very happy if they were cat-throw-up, because what they are in actuality are the wettish and sundry leakings from the ass of the aforementioned cat.

Then I bundled the cat into a blanket (which shall heretofore and forever more be known in this house as The Cat Blanket), covered one of his pills with butter (my mom is a smart lady), and pried open his growling jaws and tried to drop the butter-pill in before they snapped shut. Second try, bingo. I clamped his jaws closed over the butter-pill and held him. His head dived into the blanket and disappeared. I held him for a minute until he relaxed, then I uncovered his head while he growled at me. Those pills must really taste awful. Then I let him go and couldn’t find the pill or the butter anywhere, so he may have swallowed it. Then I put him into the bathroom to chill and stay off the carpet while the pill took effect.

After two hours of meowing, I let him out, and he watched me while I cleaned up the puddle of ass-leakage he left in there. He was contrite and apologetic, and sat on my lap for at least an hour afterward.

I think we’ll leave the story there for now. He’s a sweet kitty and I hope we can find out what’s wrong. Did I mention that he’s Serena’s cat?

[tags] cat, cats, stool sample, scratches, diarrhea [/tags]