Lion and Magic Boy

Let me just say here and now that if it weren’t for the fact that the automatic doors were inoperable, Eric would either be a.) living with whichever nice person he accosted today who would take him home, or b.) still in the store because is there anything more exciting, when you’re 3 feet tall, than a shoe store? Is there? I thought not.

Nathaniel has a history of ingrown toenails, and he mentioned recently that he has noticed that his toes reach the ends of his shoes, so I knew it was time to replace the expensive but comfortable shoes we bought when we moved to PA from CO six months ago (has it been that long? why yes it has). Judging from the redness of his toes today, I knew that today was the day.

And we were ready! Everyone had a big breakfast! They all went to the bathroom! (There’s nothing like finding a bathroom in an emergency for a 7-year old.)

Judging by Eric’s reaction when we entered the shoe store, one known for its selection of sneaker-type shoes and the one that revealed its hidden secrets to us six months ago, he might have thought we had entered paradise. Immediately he scrambled down from my arms where he had been contentedly nestled in our trek from the parking lot, and he set off to explore. I attempted to steer him toward the shoes in Nathaniel’s size (Men’s 9!! And he’s only 11!), but gave me “the hand” and shook his head and proceeded to walk where he wished to. I set Serena on his tail to follow him and went with Nathaniel to the sale rack in the hope that something that met his still-unknown-to-me criteria would magically be there.

I still don’t know the criteria. Not all of them. Not-white, that’s one. Does not appear when on the foot to be a clown shoe, that’s two. Doesn’t look big even though his feet are like mini-skis, long and narrow, and what shoe is built to fit that? That’s three. Doesn’t hurt the toes, that’s four. And looks, well, this is where I’m a little shaky. I have no idea. Some that I thought fit the criteria were frowned upon. Let’s just say I am apparently entering the realm of Hopelessly Clueless Mother of a Tween.

So where was Eric all this time? I’m sure you are wondering that. So was I. In fact, I was able to be with Nathaniel for approximately six seconds at a time before I had to zoom to catch up with Eric, now banging on the mirrored doors to the fitting rooms, now checking out the gigantic, buff, African-American mannequin (shoeless, Serena pointed out, which to her was a non-sequitur since we were in a Shoe Store), now adjusting the shoe displays, now headed for the doors, the shiny bright sunny doors.

Serena, all this time, decided that instead of following her little brother, she would follow me, who she has inexplicably dubbed Moppist (the irony is not lost on me), which stems from a time about a year ago when she gave names to all of us ending in the sound -op. She was Clop (the horse thing); I was Mop (M for Mama); Nathaniel was Pop (no idea), etc. Guess which was the only one that stuck. You can imagine my delight at being referred to as “Mop”! By both Serena and Nathaniel now.

[sigh]

Nathaniel didn’t like any of the shoes there. We were there 30 minutes.

We were headed out to the car again, me racking my brain to think of another shoe store in the area, when we decided to go into the cheap off-brand shoe store next door to the one we had just left. D’oh! I thought there wouldn’t be anything in there worthwhile, but I followed Eric around while Nathaniel tried on shoes and Serena coveted red sparkly shoes and copper sparkly sandals.

Eric befriended the Shoe Man, who is today perhaps at a career high point, and who clearly didn’t know what to make of Eric who stood and spoke emphatically to him, gesticulating wildly. Eric clearly had much to say to the man, who was obviously too dumbfounded to do more than offer him a Spiderman sticker which was promptly discarded.

That was Eric’s high point, and about 2 minutes later he was lying on the floor crying and unable to explain what he wanted (other than taking the lids off of two trash cans left carelessly or perhaps strategically, depending on who you ask, throughout the store). Within two minutes, however, Eric was himself again, and now not only does Nathaniel have a pair of humongous black sneakers ($19.99) but Serena has a pair of sparkly flip-flops ($7.99) which may still be on her feet, though she of course is asleep in bed.

Eric was uninterested in shoes for himself.

[tags]children, shoes, shopping, insanity[/tags]