Lion and Magic Boy

By the way, I hope you’re happy. I’ve been agonizing all day over what to post and had no idea what I was going to write until my phone rang tonight.

When I was little, telephones had little real significance for me. Sure, there was the incredibly asinine game of “Telephone” played in the first grade that ranked right up there with “Duck, Duck, Goose” in terms of Games That Made My Eyes Want to Bleed So I Would Not Have to Play Them. So judgmental, for six years old.

I built a phone once. Or rather, my dad did while I looked on. It was for my 6th-grade class in Electricity, and the phone was housed in a dishwashing-soap container, and it really worked! Impressed the hell out of me. I think my dad got an A on it.

If you want to contact me now by phone, you either call my cell phone or you call the home phone, to which is attached two different numbers (one is for work; I am so sly that way!). “Work” involves me speaking to other people and recording our conversation, so the fact that I use a semi-reliable VOiP phone is somewhat interesting and leaves just the right amount of challenge. Just tonight I was talking to a woman and she said that she heard about every other syllable, which would make for an interesting recording. I could hear her fine, by the way. Is it possible that you get what you pay for?

Tonight, when my cell phone rang, I noted instantly (because my mind works fast like that) that there was a total of perhaps three people who could possibly be calling me on that number. I grew eager with anticipation. Who was it??

Damn. Some recorded voice, obviously selling something. In Spanish.

The phone hasn’t rung in days, and when it does, it’s not even a real person? Speaking in a language I know?

Why do I even have a cell phone? Besides the fact that it looks kind of cool and I use it to tell the time.

Not. Fair. There are three people in the entire universe who have this number, and I would have been thrilled to hear from any of them, but no…….

(ring….) (could that be the phone??)

Hang on. I’ve got to take this call. See you later.