Lion and Magic Boy

Yesterday we were on a mission. The assignment: to drive to IKEA, buy our stuff, and be back before Eric got home on his bus from school.

Parameters:
1. Eric is gone from 7:50am to 12:30 or so. So the window was 4.5 hours.
2. IKEA doesn’t open until 10 am.
3. But it takes a good 45 minutes to an hour, depending on traffic, to get there.
4. We also desperately needed trash bags. More on that later.
5. Which means another stop. Plus Nathaniel was jonesing for chocolate from Whole Foods.
6. Whole Foods and the trash bag store are on the way to IKEA, depending on which way you go.
7. But we’d have, what, about an hour in IKEA? To be on the safe side? (Death if we’re not home when Eric arrives on the bus). Is that possible, only an hour in IKEA? Has it ever been done? That place is a time-sucker.

I was planning to leave as soon after 8 am as possible, so as to make our other stops on the way. However, I didn’t count on the fact that I was going to get only two hour’s sleep the night before, and I was moving very slowly.

More. Coffee.

This took the onus off Nathaniel and Serena, who figured they had plenty of time to play. Inertia set in.

We left at 8:45.

I forgot to go the Whole Foods/trash bag way, and we hopped onto the turnpike. Because it’s faster.

And promptly got in a long long line of stopped traffic. By this time there was no turning around, of course.

Eventually we merged traffic to where construction crews were practicing their lane-blocking skills for no apparent reason (Hey! What do you want to do today? I dunno, what do you want to do? How’s about we block some lanes on the turnpike today? Well, okay, but only if I get to drop the orange cones. You did it last time.)

It took us 1 hour 20 minutes to get to IKEA. Which meant we had 55 minutes to shop and get out of there, because we absolutely had to get trash bags on the way home.

Can we talk about the trash bags now?

I was always a trash-under-the-sink sort of girl. Hide the trash: who wants to see that??! Plus, it’s a repurposing of those ubiquitous plastic grocery bags that self-populate. So for, what, 20-some-odd years, that’s what I did. Easy. Invisible.

Until last year, when I was given a trash can as a gift. Interesting choice of gifts, eh? But out of respect to the giver, a made a place for the thing in my kitchen. After all, it didn’t look too bad, being shiny stainless steel, and it did hold more than the under-the-sink deal. Which meant I could consolidate my efforts and take trash out less often. I’m good with that. So in Colorado both methods peacefully co-existed; after all, how can you undo 20-some-odd years of under-the-sink habits?

But when we moved into our present domicile last August, kitchen space was at a premium. I decided to sacrifice the under-the-sink trash and make a spot for Mr. Stainless Steel.

Trash bags for this thing are available ONLY at one store, so far as I know. Which means I buy several packages at once. In Colorado, said store was 7 minutes away. Here, it’s about 40.

The last package of special bags kept dwindling. I knew I had a trip to make, yet avoided thinking about it. I started trying to conserve trash bag space, taking bulky items directly to the outside to-the-curb container.

However, my efforts were undermined last Thursday when the overly-eager babysitter decided to change the bag in my getting-full-but-still-had-space-in-the-bag trash container. And then left the full bag right in the kitchen, but that’s another story. So we had one bag left, the one that was being used. And I couldn’t stop the children from throwing things away.

So by yesterday morning it was overflowing.

IKEA went well. We bought me some new sheets! This was in lieu of buying a completely new bed ensemble in red that everyone lobbied toward, but I felt the expense was difficult to justify; after all, the existing one in green is perfectly serviceable. But I did like the red. So instead I bought sheets in an ocean blue color, which Nathaniel assured me would go perfectly with olive green.

And we got the round picture! And light bulbs for our lamps! And some colorful vases. And! A computer chair for me! And a little wooden man!

And by 11:20 we had the car loaded, had procured two cinnamon rolls the size of Eric’s head, and were ready to drive home, stopping on the way ever-so-briefly for trash bags.

Oh! Did I mention that none of this would have been possible had Eric been with us? No, I would have spent way too many precious minutes addressing his objections to various things:

Escalator! Nooooooo! I want to go up the staaaaiiiiirs! One step.at.a.time. By Myself. Don’t hold my hand!
Sitting in a shopping cart! Noooooooo! I want to walk! In every direction! I will twist my body to make it impossible to put my legs in the cart! I will hold my feet up! You can’t maaaaaake meeeee! I will cry now!!!
Noooooo! I want to see that thing there! That one! Thatonethatonethatone!! No, I won’t point! That would make it too easy! I will just object! Object! Object!

Objection overruled.

So. We’re in the car, going the trash bag way, because 1. We don’t want to be stuck in lane-blocking traffic again, and 2. the trash bags, duh.

Intent on 1. staying awake (2 hours sleep! yay!) and 2. getting home before Eric does, I drive right past the trash bag store. Nathaniel points it out to me as we pass it.

However, I am genetically unable to make u-turns, and we keep going. Must. Keep. Going. Cannot. Turn. Around. (That would be admitting defeat).

The overflowing trash taunts me when we get home.

However! We got a box and removed all the stuff that no longer “goes” in the living room (I will take that box to the basement soon, I promise), put light bulbs in our new lamps, and hung the Round Picture, and it looks pretty good. Even if Serena did complain about being everyone’s “servant”, as she was put into service fetching scissors, hammers, boxes, etc. It does look good. I’m looking at the Round Picture right now, above the fireplace. It didn’t hurt too much when it fell on my head before I nailed it to the wall. Soon I will remove the computer chair from the car, too.

So.

The Ex kindly was able to change his schedule after all for the weekend, which means I am definitely going to BlogHer. Which means today I am shopping for clothes to wear there, since apparently I have to wear something other than jeans and yoga pants. Damn.

But I am fulfilling the astrological reading I got a while back in my sleep patterns. Insanely tired at 11 pm last night, I went to sleep after a bit of reading, at midnight. Awoke before 2, wide awake. Sigh. Finished the book. 4 am ticks by. Meditation brings sleep, finally, but 8 am seems too early.

By the way? Apparently, regular trash bags can be made to fit Mr. Stainless Steel, so I have a reprieve.

And the shopping? I’ve had Three Cups Of Coffee, baby, and I’m READY!!