Lion and Magic Boy

Yes! This time tomorrow, I HAD BETTER BE ON A PLANE, and of course I have a gaziliion things to do between now and then, which is why I am wasting precious time blogging them.

1. Remember the ass-cork cat? Well, in honor of the cats’ birthday last Sunday, we decided to get them the food that my hair guy Russell recommended because it’s what HIS cats eat without throwing up. We have this bond, Russell and I, that goes back years now. He entertains me a couple of times a year with tales of his various cats and his trips to Paris while he does stuff to my hair that renders it remarkably like it looked when I walked in. I love Russell.

But the cat. Apparently I can donate the rest of that food to Russell’s cats because mine mews pitifully when he goes to the cat litter box which means his little insides don’t feel good which explains the yuckiness he leaves there and the drips he left on Eric’s brand new bed, thank you. So we’re switching back to the other food. Immediately.

But of course I worry about my kitties in my absence, even though they will be taken care of. But that’s what worries me: it’s bad enough to ask someone to scoop your cat’s shit on a daily basis while you cavort about on vacation, but is it appropriate to ask someone to scoop cat shit that is excessively yucky? Extra yucky? Do you pay this person extra? What if it’s a family member and you’re not paying them at all? Is there some extra obligation incurred here? And what is appropriate recompense?

2. Packing. Naturally I have not begun this, though have thought about it. I am very good at packing and could actually pack for six days in about 15 minutes. So why not leave this until tonight?

NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT FORGET CORDS. CORDS TO IPOD, LAPTOP, CAMERA, ETC. CHARGE IPOD.

ALSO: Glasses, in case you wish to see without contacts. Except Matthew has not seen you in glasses yet. Okay, strike the glasses.

3. Check in for flight. I could do this right here right now but my lazy self still has not hooked up the Airport Extreme that sits on the dining room floor still in its glossy white shrink-wrapped box, taunting me, so I still cannot print from the laptop, though if you want all my passwords and stuff you can come and hang out near my house and get them wirelessly, okay?

4. WORK!! I was going to post ahead for Strollerderby to cover the days I will be internetless, which as far as I know is ALL OF THEM, but something inside me last night decided I should watch “Bride and Prejudice” instead.

However I am channeling by telephone for someone this afternoon which should prove interesting, because I no longer have phone service. Yep, my VOiP company went belly-up, and the new VOiP company couldn’t handle the influx, apparently. Though I just spotted Mr. FedEx truck outside which means my new phone router is here. That won’t help me, though, since they still haven’t assigned me an actual phone number.

However! Skype! And supposedly I can record the session right from Skype (note to self: scoop cat box before session begins, as being tied to the computer that’s six feet from it via headphones will be memorable but less enjoyable if you forget this), though do you think I should test it beforehand? I mean, before five minutes beforehand? You do? Killjoy.

[While I wrote this, Mr. FedEx guy disappeared without leaving me anything but just came back and knocked loudly at the door, getting the cats' attention, so I think I have a package! Yay!]

[Question: when I go out to get the package, should I bring in the big blue trash container that's been sitting out at the curb for two days? Or forget all about it and just leave it there another week? Which? And, OH!! (note to self) Don't forget to unlock the door when you go out! I live in mortal fear of locking myself out of the house, because NO ONE has a key. Well, my daughter Jess has a key, but if I'm locked out I can't call her because I won't have the cell phone and I don't have her number memorized and what does it say about me that I can't remember the phone number of someone who has had it for something like three years? Someone who's related to me? By blood?]

5. Um, errand stuff! I forget now what I actually have to do here. Let’s see…pay attorney something…check. Get a mailing tube to pack the picture I made (because I am a Real Artist according to Serena) for Matthew’s birthday but wasn’t inspired enough to make it ahead of time so now I am going to bring it with me and I would post a photo of it here but it’s still sort of a surprise although he knows about it, but I will post it for you eventually…check. Cat litter? Yes…check. Lots. Buy another bathing suit because I have decided against the one I bought a few weeks ago when I bought the hot SIZE ZERO dress for BlogHer that I didn’t wear because I didn’t go but there was the bathing suit and in the total excited rush of buying a SIZE ZERO dress I decided I could actually be seen in public in a bikini after having had four kids but now I have reconsidered and decided that no, the public is NOT READY TO SEE ME IN A BIKINI AFTER ALL…um, no. No time, unfortunately, sadly. Will have to consume enough wine to make the bikini work after all if we decide to stay for the Group Hot Tub event (that sounds rather kinky but I can assure you it won’t be, at least, if it is, I’M LEAVING IMMEDIATELY).

6. Bike ride, because this is my last chance for at least a week, even though it is ninety-eight zillion degrees outside and effing humid, so much so that yesterday when I went out I could feel how wet my socks were inside my shoes which made my feet slip a little, rather distracting, and my Hot Cycling Gloves were indeed, hot.

So what are you still doing here?? Don’t you know I have things to do?? Shoo! Go home!

[tags]packing, travel, VOiP, Sunrocket sucks, hot tubs, Skype[/tags]