Lion and Magic Boy

I was a bit saddened this morning when I observed some behavior that’s apparently been going on for quite awhile between my cats.

Oh. If you’re not a cat person, heave a great sigh and scroll down.

Anyway. Yeah, pictures would help, wouldn’t they? Sorry, you’re not getting any this time, you’ll have to pretend you’re a big kid reading a chapter book and too bad but there aren’t any pictures. And I will describe them for you in glorious technicolor detail (the cats, or the imaginary pictures, take your pick), so you can use your imagination. Because I am too busy lazy to upload some. Next time, maybe.

So. The cats. There are two. They’re black. Brothers. Who, you would think, would love one another, cuddle up, and be nice to one another? Not so. They are out for blood, these two. It’s every cat for himself around here.

This morning they were both all friendly and all when I got up, rubbing against my legs and purring. Which translates to, “We’re hungry! Look! Cute! Feed us! Now! Before we trip you on the steps with our cuteness around your ankles and we eat your face off from hunger!”

So I stumbled downstairs and put food in their bowl.

And then Nacho, the black one, proceeded to go in the living room and lie down.

While Shadow, the black one, ate all the food.

Should I be saddened by this? Poor little Nacho (the black one), waiting for his breakfast like that! So patient. And he was clearly the hungrier of the two, the one who rubbed harder and purred louder. While Shadow (the black one) blithely ate everything in the bowl, as if he had a right to.

This is new, because they used to eat out of the same bowl at the same time. So I am wondering, was there some sort of telepathy or other communication that I wasn’t privy to? Because I missed the memo on the Alpha Cat Elections. Definitely not a democratic process, by any means.

[here comes the segue, don't miss it!]

Cats sure like beds, don’t they?

[did you see it, the segue? wait, I don't think you did, go back!]

Yep, cats like beds.

I like my bed too. Even though I don’t use it for much. Some occasional sleep, stuff like that. But I think about my bed A LOT, and I have to wonder what it says about me that my bed occupies so much cranial space.

While you’re pondering that I can talk about my sheets.

A couple of months ago Nathaniel talked me into buying a new sheet at IKEA. I say “sheet”, singular, because I realized that it’s been quite a long time since anyone who complains much about such things has spent any time in my bed and therefore I could finally ditch the top-sheet thing and just go with a duvet and duvet cover like the good lord intended. Toe freedom is VERY important to me.

So I bought this sheet even though I was dubious about the color. It’s a lovely color, actually, and if this was 1986 I would call it “teal” and pair it with black lacquered furniture but since it’s not 1986 I will call it “ocean” and pair it with my medium brown sleek modern IKEA bed. At any rate it’s a lovelyish greenish blue. Which, to my mind, clashes somewhat with the unfortunate olive (they were out of the red, which would have REALLY been heinous with teal ocean, but since when I bought the olive I was still dealing with blueblueblue sheets, olive was fine) of my duvet cover.

I really wanted the RED duvet cover, but that would have necessitated not only that expense but (obviously) a color of sheet that’s not teal ocean. Because I cannot sleep in a bed that’s red and green. I’m sorry, I cannot. But how to justify an expense to replace something that’s perfectly good and only used about 4-5 hours a night?

There IS another set of sheets, of course (I know! so decadent!), a flannel-grey set. Which leaves little grey fuzzies everywhere. And I abhor little grey fuzzies so we have put the little grey fuzzy-producing sheets away for now. They may someday be repurposed into something, I have yet to decide.

Maybe I can sew a large grey fuzzy cat from them.

Oh. Yes. Sheets. Um, I mean, sheet.

Did I mention that the cats, both the black one AND the black one, sleep on my bed, mostly?

The thing with the teal ocean sheet is this: it shows that there is an ENORMOUS amount of cat hair coating my bed. Which I hadn’t known about when the sheet was grey and therefore, apparently, absorbed all the cat hair there. Or turned it into repurposed little grey fuzzies, maybe.

But the amount of cat hair that I scrape off my bed on a daily basis is exhorbitant, ludicrous, and cautionary.

So my question is this:

Which sheet?

A. Lovely cathaircovered teal ocean?

B. Fuzzy-making and not very soft grey flannel that doesn’t show the cathaircoveredness?

And, now that I know the cathaircover is there, can I even go back to the greyfuzzyflannel and pretend I have forgotten about cathaircover? Or never knew it existed?

Or is this my chance to go back to IKEA and get the red and whatever else goes with it?

And can I get either the black one OR the black one to cover the cost of refurbishing my our bed?