Lion and Magic Boy

NOTE: Do not compose blog posts, or anything else for that matter, while you are in bed and about to go to sleep, telling yourself that of course you will remember it in the morning, how obvious, a perfect moron would remember it, because of course you will not. Though perhaps you will after all remember the general gist of what the post was going to be about, but naturally whatever you come up with the next day pales in comparison to the Pulitzer material you had in your head the night before.

On Friday the alarm failed to go off. Oh, right, I know what you’re thinking. It so was not human error, either! And I did remember to set it. Yes I did! And it was set for the correct time, not twelve hours ahead/behind. And the alarm volume was on high. Yes, I tested it. Twice! So stop that. I would think that the fact that this happened THREE TIMES in the past two weeks, including on the first day of school, would be enough to make it clear that it was simply Time To Buy a New Clock.

So, just so you know? Telling your 11-year-old that it’s now the time he’d normally be getting on the bus except that today he’s just waking up at that time AND THE BUS IS LEAVING WITHOUT HIM is a really really really good way to see someone jump around the room screaming and freaking out. Not that that happened.

But we actually all got out the door within about 22 minutes, breakfasts in hand, to drive him to school and then come right back because the other two still had their respective busses to catch, which is not bad considering that Someone Who Shall Not Be Named had to first stuff the entire Library of Congress into his backpack, even though he was advised to do all that the night before, haha I will have time for that in the morning.

So the clock. The old clock was a $10 job from Target two years ago, which in my calculations has cost me about 1.3 cents per day. Doesn’t that seem like a lot for a clock? I am sure I can do better.

Obviously, Target is the place to go for cheap clocks that quit working after two years, so back there we went. And there was a Clock of Perfection, not too large and with huge blue numbers useful for someone who is blind at night and is tired of squinting to see the tiny red numbers, and did I mention they were blue? Which seemed a little less hello-I-am-your-clock-numbers-and-I-am-here-to-see -that-you-know-what-time-it-is-all-hours-of-the-day-and-especially-at-night.

But alas, though there was a display model of the Clock of Perfection there was nothing resembling it in a box that could be purchased and lovingly taken home and placed reverently on one’s bedside table, no that would be too easy, so we piled in the car and drove the .1 miles across a huge parking lot to Bed, Bath and Beyond thinking Bed! That means clocks! Which is a place that causes children to begin yelling something unintelligible or to poke their siblings and then pretend innocence or to run incessant circles around the stacks of merchandise littering the crowded aisles. Not that that happened either, as all my children behave perfectly at all times.  All of them!  And it’s a place that caused Nathaniel to remark after we were safely out of there that he planned on having them hire him one day to completely redesign the store, because it badly needed the services of a competant interior designer. To which I could do nothing but agree as the place is crowded and has bad flow and weird energy and annoys me no end, and every single one I have been in is exactly the same, and that remark coupled with the design work he’s done in our house tells me that it’s clear to me now what Nathaniel is going to be as an adult, and woe be to you if you hire him and you expect a designer/architect who will listen to what YOU want, as he will know exactly what is best in the situation and will go ahead and do it anyway and you know what, he’ll be right.

P.S. And then I welcomed another $10 red-numbered clock to my bedroom because there was nothing better and yes, I Gave Up.

[tags] alarm clocks, missing the bus, freaking out, Bed Bath and Beyond, big box retail rules[/tags]