[No, not mine!]
Ahem. Now why is it I can’t even bring myself to say, “diarrhea” in a post title? I have no idea, because over at Strollerderby I do all kinds of things I would never do at home. Swearing! Improper grammar! Use of words like “Brangelina”!
[Side note: My most popular Strollerderby post to date, in terms of sheer numbers anyway, is this one <--caution: swearing!, which if you haven't seen it yet you really should, though don't expect a dissertaion on, well, anything; whereas this one, while it did pretty well in terms of numbers and certainly received accolades, didn't receive anywhere near the same kind of attention. I'm not sure what kind of conclusion, if any, to draw from that.]
Back to diarrhea! I know, you were hoping I had forgotten about it and moved on. Sadly, no.
I think you need some background, though, to examine this more closely. Not that you want to. But I got a call from Serena’s school yesterday while I was procrastinating about taking Eric for a walk. She had thrown up on the playground. And going back even further, all last school year she had throat-stomach issues seemingly constantly. So I am no stranger to a little whining about someone’s tummy hurting. I even began to suspect [shh! bad mommy!] that it was largely psychosomatic.
However, we have a fairly definitive answer now (the answer after you vote):
Tonight we had to leave the house at a time when two out of three kids are normally in bed and [hopefully] asleep, so as to go pick up Nathaniel from his arrival back at school from today’s field trip to some place where he walked about in the pondside mud and collected tadpoles and a huge spider. And probably some other stuff, but that’s as far as we got in the rundown afterward. Before we left I had Serena take a shower to definitively remove last night’s traces, and she was in the bathroom a long, long time. Long time. Very long. In the car she informed me that she had seen worms. In the poop.
My reaction was of course calm and quite serene. “Oh, really? Can you tell me about them?” I asked so very casually while my brain was screaming WORMS! IN THE POOP! WORMS! INTHEPOOPINTHEPOOP!
Yeah. Well.
I made immediate mental plans to keep her home tomorrow and take her to the most allopathic physician possible and get some Instant Worm Eradication Medication and maybe something to fumigate the entire house.
I am not good with poop. Although I estimate I have changed well over 10,000 diapers in my lifetime thus far (no end in sight), a good many containing poop or some amount of poop by-product, my immediate reaction to Serena’s naked poop dance last night was to think “Why me?” and then to employ the instantaneous use of a fire hose and a can of Lysol, one or more of which she may have considered inappropriate.
But hello! WORMS! IN THE POOP!
[Question: which is worse, that we are talking worms, or that it's about poop?]
So in the past I would have been all, Nothing inorganic or unnatural is going to touch my baby’s lips! Medication should be gentle, natural, homeopathic! Let’s use herbs! Maybe some essential oils!
Yeah, no. Because we are talking WORMS! IN THE POOP!!
AND THE WORMS MUST DIEEEEEE!
(Immediately. If not sooner.)
September 21st, 2007 at 2:38 am
ahh yes, welcome to world of pinworms.
I was EXACTLY the same way, bring on the hard drugs to kill the bastards!!! LOL
My kids still are traumatized by the weeks of me screaming at them NOT TO SIT ON THINGS NAKED anymore as I rewashed everything for the hundred and fifty seventh thousand time.
I am so so so sorry Karen! I hope you get rid of them soon….
September 21st, 2007 at 8:34 am
There’s a certain irony in the most popular post being something that would most likely appeal to the men, but all the comments (though surely not all the readers) being women.
And I voted “mystery”. I just say Nothankyou to worms. [shudder]
September 21st, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Why oh why did I choose to do some blog reading over lunch. And my wife wonders what I see in playing fantasy sports…there’s no worms in the poop over there!
September 21st, 2007 at 1:00 pm
oh oh oh! we can relate!
first… i am the person i know who pin worms A LOT as a kid.
why?
Why?
WHY???
our neighbor across the street… as my mother would firmly say, “a NURSE,” informed us that children with pinworms scratch their butts…. then buy candy out of machines… then some other child (me) comes along and buys candy…. and wa-la - worms.
i don’t knwo but i was NEVER allowed to have candy out of a machine again.
my mother also married my stepdad who cooked with a lot of garlic and that is her theory number two: more garlic, fewer worms.
i am, i realized just TWO week ago, a good “host.”
i was sitting on the couch, wondering if i’d gotten giardia at shasta (well, yes, i drank from panther springs… but i didn’t KNOW giardia had taken over shasta, as well as everywhere else in california)… and i was thinking now what would be the louis hay interpretation of someone (me) who gets various parasites… worms… lice… crabs… etc…. they all love me.
what could it be?
what could it be?
oh crap, i realized. boundaries. no boundaries. the hostess with no boundaries!
this is NOT about serena… i’m just ruefully chuckling as ex-pinworm queen about my own crap.
as to poop… somehow i feel fated to deal with it… ENDLESSLY.
at two years old, my daughter had phenomenally smelly diarrhea ten times a day for six months. parasites, celiac, long story. my cat had giardia. another cat had some kind of terrible liver disease that made him explode with yes, you guessed it, explosive and very watery and very smelly diarrhea everywhere. well… he did really favor the couch.
and you know what? i am also just realizing that really, your story of the worms… and my story of the worms… is actually CHEERING me because now that i think about it… i realize it’s a lot more curable than the other crap gonig on right now in my extended family system.
some sad, painful, messy, greeeeeeeeevious dual diagnosis stuff going on with a family member who is like a sister to me.
so… thank you for giving me a chuckle.
my EMPATHY to serena - and you.
i hope you find that perfect homeopathic, etc. cure.
and if you figure out the “why” of pinworms, let us know that, too.
it CAN’T be candy machines.
it just can’t.
with a supportive smile,
cynzim
September 21st, 2007 at 1:00 pm
that should be…
i am the ONLY person i know who had pinworms…
;-)))
September 21st, 2007 at 8:04 pm
OMG my littlest has worms too!!! 2nd time this year. They are evil, they are the devil and they can make the cutest kids miserable. She does not have the runs though! I think it’s because she loves kefir. But I do not appreciate worms waving to me after she has gone to the bathroom. They must die! It sucks!