Lion and Magic Boy

I’ve never been much of a runner: it hurts, I can’t breathe, it hurts, and did I mention that it hurts? When I was about 12 everybody in my family (except my brother, who wisely ignored the whole thing and stayed out of it) decided they were going to run. A lot. That was the year my dad was training for a marathon, and he routinely spent a couple of hours a day devoted to thinking about, preparing for, actually doing, and then recovering from running. It was great motivation, all that sweatiness.

But damn, it hurt. So that lasted only a few months and I never found a rhythm.

Later, in the army, I found I could run. Here are the secrets:

1. Go slow. Are you running or walking? If you can’t tell, it’s the right speed.
2. Stay in the back with friends who won’t let you lag.
3. Run in cadence with 50 other people.
4. Decide it doesn’t matter.

So after all that, running was fun. 5 miles? Sure!

But once I didn’t have to, I just didn’t.

About ten years ago I took it up again. Got to where I could run 3 miles a day at a not half-bad speed. But it still hurt, and I still hated it. I was trudging, not flying.

Next was the treadmill, three years ago. Maybe running indoors with air conditioning will help! Not really; I couldn’t move past that three-mile mark. But it was definitely less sweaty.

So I got a bike.

But in my dreams, I’m a runner. In my dreams, it doesn’t hurt, and I feel like I’m flying. In my dreams, I run easily and with joy. So I know what it feels like. I know it’s possible; after all, why would it feel so real in my dreams if that wasn’t attainable in reality?

Yesterday I took a walk in the forest, looking for an alternate route to the beach. The path that stretched toward the ocean did in fact exist. Problem was, it was perched a good 100 feet higher than the beach and I didn’t feel much like jumping down. So I continued on. After a bit I was compelled to run. No problem, I thought, I’m wearing jeans. This isn’t running. I can stop any time. But I didn’t want to stop. It was easy, it was like flying, it was wonderful. It must be the forest, I thought. The trees are helping. I ran all the way back.

So I dressed a little more appropriately later in the day and went out again.

This time, I found the secret.

The first time? That had been all downhill.