Remember I said I was sick yesterday? Yeah, well, I went for that walk in the forest and on the beach, took a zillion pictures (none of which I am posting now, unfortunately for you, because they are all AWESOME), and immediately felt much better. I think it was when I got the message that the sick feeling was due to all the changes that are going to occur for me and my resistance to that.
So though I ostensibly came here to the beautiful Pacific Northwest to write, and would have been quite happy simply writing, it seems that instead I am doing more spiritual-type work than I anticipated. Specifically, I’ve been working with Matthew quite a bit and it would seem that things in that arena are a-changing, meaning this channeling work I have been doing for lo nine years now is changing. Changing focus, changing mechanically, and with all that come some changes within me as well.
For instance, it looks like I get to completely break down who I ever thought I was and take down the walls I built around who I really am.
THAT sounds like fun, eh?
So the whole thing has caused some, shall we say, feelings of being imbalanced, simply because what has for a long time been familiar is now (slowly) being replaced with something else. I have no complaints about this and am actually quite looking forward to it all, because, well, my life IS about creation after all. But I do find it a tad bit ironic: just when I come to a point where I actually like myself, it turns out that isn’t really me anyhow, or isn’t the totality of me or, well, something. I get a pretty good-sized glimpse of all this but there are still, understandably, more than a few holes that will fill in of their own accord eventually.
So are we cool?
On other fronts, I’ve got two new gigs lined up that I can’t quite yet tell you about, and one more gig I’m putting together as we speak that will be HUGE, and all in all?
Life is wonderful.