Lion and Magic Boy

It’s kind of funny to discover after years and years that you’re apparently incapable of really resting. It turns out, though, and it’s odd I never noticed this until recently, that I pretty much all the time hold myself in a constant state of tension, of contraction, of defense.

You’d think such a thing would be noticeable, you know? That like ALL my muscles are constantly contracted?

It also explains my living on 4-5 hours sleep a night and the almost insatiable need to Just.Keep.Going.

Well, apparently I’ve had enough.

I first noticed this on my working/vacation in October. The one I still haven’t really posted about, oh, except for this and this and this and this and this. Um, so I guess I did sort of post about it. Whatever. But what I didn’t mention was that while I was there I was really, really, really tired. More so than usual. Even when sleeping in for days at a time for the first time in years and years; in fact, that seemed to almost make things worse. It was like something was telling me slow down.

Yes. Well. That feeling seems to have followed me, as if I am looking for rest, looking to finally unburden myself and just BE.

So we’ve been talking about True Rest recently, Matthew and me. This is a metaphysical-ish concept that’s talked about in the Michael teachings stuff and a lot of people are interested in knowing their own True Rest, True Play, True Study, and True Work. Often that’s the sort of thing I channel for people, and I think it’s useful in getting to know yourself and allowing the True You to come out a bit more, you know?

And I figured out this week what mine is, one of them, anyway. It has to do with watching the patterns light makes, form and shape and whatnot. Like watching the shadows made on a wall by the sun coming through miniblinds. Just observing them, looking at them. For me, it’s restful.

There’s much more about rest and what it is, what it does for you, at this wiki site about channeling. I found it fascinating. (Um, maybe because it’s my work, whatever. But it’s still good stuff, so do have a look! Plus there’s more channeling there too, with more added all the time)