Uh, no, I don’t mean that kind of performance. Sorry.
No, I’m going to whine about writing today. I said before, I’m a writer. Not only is it part of what I do for income, it’s also my main method of self-expression. It’s who I am. Some people tend to express through conversation, but I’ve tended to keep things inside, some emotions actually rendering me practically mute. Yeah, I’m working on it. But expression through the written word has always been a venue for me, has always helped me work through issues or communicate or simply to play.
So writing isn’t the problem.
Nope, it’s time.
I’ve whined about time before, or my perceived lack of it. But in the course of a typical week, I write (usually; I’ve been slacking a bit lately) 20-25 posts at Strollerderby, about 5 here, 2 for Work It, Mom!, and 2-3 for Parentricity. In addition, I have completely slacked in spiritual writing at Springing Light (mainly because thay energy is in large part going toward Matthew and Work It, Mom!, a rather interesting pairing, actually) and haven’t written much at Loving Awareness either (though Matthew writes frequently there, and oh, I won an award for a post there!).
But personal journaling? Ha.
Writing fiction? Nada.
I counsel people all the time about things like finding balance in their lives, yet my own feels strangely askew.
Is this whining?
I mean, isn’t everyone else’s life (everyone but me, of course) easy/effortless/wonderful? And everyone has everything they feel they want/need, right? I’m the ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY. I am so alooooooooone!
Kidding. (sort of)
Anyway, it’s a HUGE drain on creativity to feel you HAVE TO PERFORM. So I am playing with the feeling of unloading some obligations.
But maybe I will put all that on hold just now and go for a walk or something. It’s sunny out.