I started this blog 6 years ago, having heard something about “weblogs” and feeling the need to jump on that wagon. I posted perhaps twice, already losing impetus to sustain the original intention of the blog which was to record for posterity the stories I told nightly to my children. Although the intention was good, the stories ended soon after and I lacked time/inclination to use this new weblog-thingy for navel-gazing, since introspection was the last thing I could bear in my then-state of denial.
NOTE: While I don’t deny that I could also be in some state of denial about one thing or another at present as well, the denial I was embracing at that long-ago time is something since uncovered that has led to much inward gazing, so I reserve the right to judge myself, at least a little, about having been in that state once.
Fast-forward a few years, to a time when my creativity and emotions were brimming and wanted an outlet. This became it. Into these pages I poured my life: all the messiness and uncertainty, all my hopes and idealism, all my love and my pain.
I’ve been aware, over the past two years here, of a good many of you who read my journey. I think of you as friends, more than friends really, because you’ve dived into my depths with me at times, or ridden my heights. I know too that some of you read because you are looking for something, something to report to someone else or simply something to report, something to use, perhaps, to hurt. I’ve been aware of this. It’s had an effect on me. I’ve spent less energy here of late because I’m less comfortable letting my passions and pain ooze onto a page where it’s not simply embraced for being yet another part of me, another facet to the unending complexity that is me.
And if I no longer find joy in unearthing all the beauty (even the beauty that others find ugly, or twist somehow into ugliness) that is me here in this venue, it’s time to stop.
This is my last post here.
Thank you, ALL OF YOU, for being here and sharing these bits of my life. I shall miss you.