Lion and Magic Boy

I think it’s safe to turn my lights back on now. Every year I buy candy for Halloween and then either I live in the middle of whatthefuck and no on comes to the door at all or I am frightened by the thought of packs of three-foot tall people begging for candy at my door so I leave the lights off and cower in the bathroom for four hours.

I had the laptop upstairs and was watching some episodes of 30 Rock (only heard of it a few weeks ago), so it was okay. But I have at least $10 worth of black-market Milky Ways and Three Musketeers here that I have no idea what to do with. Any ideas? Is it recyclable?

You’re not suggesting I eat this stuff, are you?

Good. Because that so is not happening.

So today I found out what small claims court is all about. Needless to say, I was unimpressed. Is it just me or is it weird when a guy takes his ex-wife to court? Is that even legal? I guess it is. I have no idea as to the outcome yet, but I did get to wear my black court suit again so it wasn’t a total loss. Those black pumps are almost getting comfortable.

The children are with The Ex tonight, who has again co-opted the holidays this year, at least the ones involving major food consumption. It’s going on 10 pm and they are likely still trudging from house to house, collecting candy for his consumption. I so did not say that. Perhaps I am still bitter over the court experience, which necessitated having to leave Eric at a day care center that I had never been to before because I couldn’t find anyone to watch him. He seemed okay yet was regarding a cupcake and a lone apple slice quite dubiously when I picked him up, and I have yet to know Eric to turn down food, especially cake! except when he’s sick.

So I thought I would point out that although this will post on November first, it’s clearly still October 31 in my time zone and in several others as I write this (shhhh!), so is this cheating for NaBloPoMo?

Don’t answer that. I have already decided.

And oh, I have set the bar veeeery low for quality this month. Yay me!

It just hit me today that I’ve publicly committed myself to posting here on a daily basis beginning in (whipping out the fingers for a quick calculation) three days. Three. Days. Not to mention the whole novel-writing thing, the paltry little 50,000 words I’m going to whip out in a month’s time. Ack. I signed up again today, though, for NaNoWriMo.

Plus, um, hello, I have a start date of next week for one of my new gigs (they made me a banner! just for meeee!), so there will be that. On top. Of everything else.

Throat feels kind of tight just now, what is that? Constricting. (WHO LET THAT FUCKING BIG SNAKE IN HERE?)

Maybe that’s what eating my words feels like, eh?

Plus, you know, redoing my website. That’s definitely on the list. And attending parent-teacher conference things. Two of them. At least. And hello Gmail, why are you sending me little bits about how wonderful it is to visit Bermuda this time of year? What have I done to you to deserve such taunting, Gmail?

[I have actually been to Bermuda, but if I ever go again it will be a completely different experience, trust me.]

I have, let’s see, one, two, three blog post ideas in the queue, still as of yet unwritten. Just ideas. And I can always plumb the depths of my cringeworthy life for a few things. And there’s always haiku.

So yeah, you’ll be seeing a bit of me in November.

Oh yes, before I forget, a new post up at Loving Awareness! (Even if you go just to look at the picture)

[Pardon me while I wipe away a wee tear caused by the endless amusement I cause myself with my clever plays on words.]

Ahem.

The other day Matthew took me to a bookstore in Vancouver. Not just any bookstore, and certainly not a big-box Barnes & Noble-type bookstore. This one had spiritual-type books, and only spiritual-type books, but of every description. It was wonderful, and I was certain I would find in it The Book, something that would Change My Life. Not that I was looking for a change, really, but more that it was the sort of bookstore that had that sort of book.

So imagine my surprise to pick up a book on writing. Writing Down the Bones. Yeah, I had heard of it. I didn’t know why I picked it up. I looked at the back. “Writing class…” Hmm. I am a writer already, what do I need this beginner-stuff for?

I started to put the book back on the shelf.

What are you afraid of?

I looked around. There was no one there.

Yes, you. What are you afraid of? What, you can’t learn anything anymore? Do you really think that?

Uh, no.

I kept the book in my hand, looked at it a little more. Maybe there was something in it for me after all. I decided to keep it.

I read some on the airplane coming home. A mix of Zen Buddhaism and writing wisdom. Rather a good fit. I’m sure there is something in it for me, even if nothing else than the lesson that there is always something I can learn.

So it looks like November is a writing month for me.

Several weeks ago I weighed my options. Last year at this time I entered (and won!) National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in order to change my life. I did and it did. I don’t regret it a bit, although it was a bit daunting and exhausted my creative capabilites at the time.

Apparently I like working under pressure.

Last year I also entered (and won!) NaBloPoMo, which by comparison seemed minor, but truly, there is an art to blogging daily. And I weighed those options and decided that in addition to everything else I am doing, posting to Lion and Magic Boy every day would be more than enough.

But then there’s the whole working under pressure thing. I like that.

So when it became clear that my 2.5 year old project wasn’t writing itself in my wee cabin in the way northwest last week and the week before, I thought I may as well ride that current of November creativity and just finish the damn thing under NaNoWriMo. So yeah, bending the rules a bit, but every word I write will be a new one, so close enough, and if I come out in a month with my project completed I will be one happy girl.

So, to recap:

1. 50,000 words (only 1667 a day!) in a new-old project under NaNoWriMo.

2. A post a day. That’s all I have to do. NaBloPoMo.

3. Two! New! Jobs! Soon to be announced.

4. The already close to 50,000 words a month I write as it is in all my various locations.

5. I work extremely well under pressure.

I noticed you typing there….[hopeful glance]…are you a writer?

Yes, I am. [shy smile]

She fingered the book she was holding. Eat, Pray, Love. She glanced sideways at me.

Anything I might have….? Do you…?

I write online. I’m a blogger.

Oh.

That’s where the conversation usually ends.

It was about a year ago that I embarked on the end of a trail that has led me here. And here. And here. And of course here. (And soon to be two more places, eventually three.) After a month of NaNoWriMo-ing last November, all 50,000 crappy but extremely cathartic words of it, I took a deep breath and decided that I was finally going to call myself a writer. Not long after, I became one, at least began being paid to do so.

But I’ve noticed that people have some interesting views of what a “writer” is.

1. Blogging isn’t writing.

Over the past 10 days I had occasion to pass through a border guard station at the US/Canada border several times. Like, maybe 10. That’s a lot. And these people apparently don’t have much to do.

So, where’s home for you?

Pennsylvania.

What are you doing here? [emphasis on the here. Like nobody in their right mind would be here if they didn't have to be.]

I’m on vacation.

Oh? [silence for a moment. Vacation? Here??] What do you do for a living?

[I consider saying I'm a channel, but that would require explanation, far more of one than I feel like giving. So I go with the other option, just as valid.]

I’m a writer.

[perkier] Oh? What do you write?

I’m a blogger.

You get paid to do that?

[I smile and shrug a little] I know! Who knew! [p.s. I'm doing what I love and I can do it from home or, really anywhere? Can you say that?]

2. A writer must write novels.

Again with the observant seatmate:

I saw you writing…are you a…writer?

[smile, though frankly this one has gotten a bit weary by now] Yes.

I love reading!

Oh? What do you read?

Mysteries….so do you write novels?

Ah, no [too much explanation to say I am writing one, have written another]. I write online.

[flatly, clearly disappointed] Oh.

So…I figure I move in different circles from most people. Because with the people I know, if you say you’re a writer that can mean almost anything. And often does.

And I’m proud of what I do. I don’t feel a need to be apologetic about it; it’s what I do. It, like everything else, doesn’t define me as a person, but no one thing does.

So I’m a writer. And I’m a channel and an artist and a blogger and a cyclist and a mother and a lover.

And many more things.

But none of us really fit into these neat little boxes, do we? We see the boxes that we think define us, then climb in and after awhile find they don’t fit. They are too confining. Or they are the wrong shape. So we look for other boxes.

Instead of boxes, I think I am going to simply remain in the open. Less secure, maybe, but infinitely less confining.

[Another new post is up at Springing Light. Yes, this was a wonderfully creative and transforming trip; read about my experience in the forest!]

You have to admire someone who dares to rhyme predictable with despicable. And wetness with tetanus.

In a poem about rain.

11 years old, that one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ass-cork cat has turned into the Cat Who Pees Anywhere.

Who has turned into the Cat Who Now Lives in the Garage.

Yes, I realize I’m turning a blind eye to the urinary suffering of a poor wee animal, but there’s a huge chasm between urinary suffering and my rented carpet, and I am determined that it remain just that, a chasm. The damage Eric inflicts is quite enough.

Feel free to send healing thoughts to my kitty’s bladder, if you will.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After having been mentioned in The Times, being interviewed by the Chicago Tribune for an upcoming story on all the toy recalls seemed kind of blase but the story should run over the weekend and I’ll post a link when I get it.

Could definitely get used to this being famous stuff. Aren’t you glad you know me now, before I get a big head and all?

[tags]poetry, writing, rhyming, cats, urinary infections, sigh[/tags]

Wow.

Just wow.

Not only am I quoted in today’s New York Times, but uber-uber-parenting-bloggy-dude Dutch has linked to me in his piece today about his thoughts on prenatal testing for Down syndrome.

I’m not sure what it says about me that I’m all blase about being in the FREAKING NEW YORK TIMES but when I saw that Dutch-from-Sweet-Juniper had linked to me I got palpitations.

Back to the NYT (keep reading, by the way; I’m at the end of that piece). I wouldn’t have known about it at all except for the advent of social networking. I’ve had a Facebook account for awhile and steadily keep adding contacts, a few here and there. Look me up! I’ll be your friend! And one sent me a message today commenting on my quote in the NYT, and I’m all, huh?? Thinking it must be a mistake, but no, there I am. Talking about plastic surgery with some vehemence (here’s my orginal piece at Babble).

I think I love the internet.

[tags]New York Times, sweet juniper!, Babble, Facebook, mommy makeover [/tags]

I gots me some plans, baby!

Yes. It’s true. I’ve been working on some new projects, that is, when I’m not deep in the Black Hole or doing any of the myriad things that seem to come up when there’s three kids and two cats around. (Oh. The vacuum cleaner has been repaired, by the way, and I’m thrilled to report that one rotating power head brush later, it works as well as it did when new and doesn’t make that funny sound anymore. Yay for that!)

1. Project #1. New blog! Yep, I’ve launched a new blog, so go over and have a look! Called Springing Light, it’s a spiritually-based blog that’s closely aligned with the kind of spiritual counselling work I do with people. I’ll be adding a new post there once or twice a week. Go see! (I’ll wait here).

2. Project #2. My website. That’s LightSpring Transformations. Links in pages! Samples of my work! That’s just a small part of what’s new to come, as I’m looking to completely revamp that site, but sometimes small changes add up and hmm, maybe that’s a lesson in impatience? Yes?

P.S. If anybody can tell me how to make the in-post links here at Lion and Magic Boy a solid line instead of a dotted line, I’ve been irked by that forever and would be hugely indebted to whomever could tell me how to make it stop!

3. Project #3. Another new blog! This is co-written with Matthew, except (ahem) he’s been doing most all of the writing on it thus far. But you can look for my stuff there in the future. Loving Awareness, doesn’t that sound wonderful?

And because I love you, not only will I remind you again about sunscreen, but I’ll post this month’s channeled message. Which, frankly, I was quite looking forward to as I was very ready to say goodbye to that last part of September and all that went with it. But look! The sun’s out, it’s a beautiful day! As I hope it is where you live, too.

You have been awaiting further confirmation of what has been transpiring of late, and we wish at this time to show you how you already have access to this information, access to the deep inner recesses of yourself. There is no separation as you perceive. You are always connected to your inner resources, whether or not you have awareness of this. The trick, then, is to expand your awareness so that its sphere includes that which you feel is a separate thing from you.

This past month has been a transformative one for many of you. Both inner and outward changes have resulted from the alterations in perception you have engulfed. For many, this was a painful process; for others, there was more peace in it. There is no right or wrong or judgment attached to either path, though it may be helpful for those who experienced pain to understand that the pain itself was a choice: perhaps to obtain your attention, perhaps to learn from the experience of pain, perhaps for other reasons. But of course you may ALWAYS choose a different path by which to reach the same result.

We wish, then, to give you some tools this day to help you take a different path the next time such a transformative time is at hand.

Stand before a mirror, and look at the reflection of your image you see there. Ponder this: is this image you see your WHOLE self? Does it accurately reflect the ENTIRETY of you? Or is it simply an image in a polished surface? Which is more real, the image or the surface itself? Which can you touch? Raise your hand and caress yourself through the image in the mirror. Really reach through and imagine not only the touch of your face through your fingers, but also the receipt of such touch. Really imagine this. Try to feel warm flesh rather than cold glass.

Oh, you try and try, but still the reality of the cold glass is there, is it not? Yet you are aware that there is more to you, MUCH more, than what you see or can feel before you.

The next time, then, you begin to feel pain as a result of the enormous changes that occur for you AT ALL TIMES, step back and remember how you perceived the greater YOU even though you could only feel the image of you. Remember the difference between the wholeness of YOU and the part. You can then access this whole You AT ANY TIME, and realize that there is ALWAYS something greater than what can be perceived through an image. Always.

This next month we see of course a continuation of the changes wrought in the immediate past. How could there not be? Much energy is afoot here and some of you may be embracing change as a means of moving through some very old patterns. The more you embrace this, the easier it will be to accept these patterns as part of yourself. By accepting these patterns rather than RESISTING them, you connect more with the wholeness of You and therefore can feel more connected to the utter joy that is within you, always there and always present and always accessible to you. It is our wish for each of you to know, if you choose, the joy that comes from connecting to the Love that is each of you.

Happy October, everyone. You are loved!

(Oh, if you liked this message you can read the entire year’s messages over at LightSpring Transformations)

It may have escaped your notice, but I doubt it. I mean, how could you not notice? They’re like, right there. And there. And they stretch alll the way down to…there!

It’s true. I now have Quite Obvious Advertising. I’m a BlogHer.

Yay me!

[tags]BlogHer, blog ads, advertising, selling out[/tags]

Whit of FameCrawler and some other places has kindly consented, after listening to my pathetic begging for several weeks now, to present me with 5 interview questions. You know Whit, don’t you? He has some blog somewhere and his, er, wit over at FameCrawler is legendary. (I’m so original.)

Anyway, here we go:

1. What, and where, is the damn tattoo?

I’m so glad you asked! It’s actually a battle scene where Godzilla is biting off the head of King Kong. It’s an art piece covering most of my abdomen and chest and the coolest part is that one of Godzilla’s eyes is right over my nipple (I only have the one) and it’s shooting laser beams.

And there’s some Japanese Kabuki characters too but it’s mostly Godzilla and King Kong. Awesome.

2. Do you think that some people only waste a few minutes on your blog, while others waste nearly an hour? 20 minutes is so exact, it must be an average time.

I always figured that people were navigating to my blog by mistake and then wandering away to do something else or dropping dead or something while they were still on my page. It’s clear nobody actually reads this blog, because if they did there’d be, you know, comments and stuff.

3. You’re a big fan of reincarnation. When you thought you were going to be spandex roadside scrape, did you see a white light, or was there like a squirrel or something waiting patiently for your soul?

You know, I was totally expecting the tunnel and the white light and everything, and I did see a light for a minute, but when I looked again it was the Pennsylvania Lottery Groundhog. And he told me I had won a $43.7 million jackpot! And I was totally all excited and all (I can’t believe I forgot to mention this part!) but then he tore up the ticket right before my eyes and I figured it just wasn’t my time.

So you’re really really close with the guess about the squirrel.

4. Have you downloaded the EP made by Iron & Wine together with Calexico? If not you should, if so, discuss.

No, but I’m downloading it now, as well as Calexico’s 2007 album and 6 from Iron and Wine. I have one song from “In the Reins”, the album you’re referring to: “He Lays in the Reins.” Love that one. Eric’s dancing to it right now.

One more drink tonight as your gray stallion rests
Where he lays in the reins
For all of the speed and the strength he gave

One more kiss tonight from some tall stable girl
She’s like grace from the earth
When you’re all tuckered out and tame

One more tired thing the gray moon on the rise
When your want from the day
Makes you to curse in your sleep at night

One more gift to bring we may well find you laid
Like your steed in his reins
Tangled too tight and too long to fight

5. Do you ever get comments at Strollerderby that hurt your feelings?

Yeah, some days I want to crawl in a hole somewhere.

Bonus Question: Steelers or Eagles?

No question: Stillers. Love that Lynn Swann and Franco Harris, not to mention Kenny Stabler. Who were all still playing the last time I watched football.

So, even though I’m not a Rules Girl, not even CLOSE, I believe that without some structure there would be anarchy. And far be it from me to cause that. Therefore, as agreed, I’m posting the rules to the interview process:

If you’d like to be interviewed by! me!, this is what you need to do:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Jennifer’s post over at Pinwheels about the startling revelation in Vanity Fair that playwright Arthur Miller had a son with Down syndrome who was hidden away right after hs birth got me to thinking this week and inspired me to do a little writing on the topic over at Strollerderby. If you haven’t yet seen it yet, please go have a look. I already said it better there than I could repeat here, but it’s about compassion and judgment and whether or not we can truly walk in someone else’s shoes. Anyway, I learned a lot about myself simply in the process of writing that piece. I hope you enjoy it.

[tags]Arthur Miller, down syndrome, children with down syndrome[/tags]