Lion and Magic Boy

Want to see more?  Check out my spiritual blog.

I am so awesome. And on the radio! Last night. But through the magic of, uh, stuff that gets recorded and saved, you can listen to me channeling about connecting more deeply to your inner self here. For two hours. I was, like, the whole show. Because I am awesome.

(Please ignore the first 1 minute 25 seconds of annoying intro music. I have no control over that.)

Also, if you haven’t been to my site and you’re into stuff about self-awareness and all that, have a look. I am very, very good at what I do and I get a lot out of connecting with people this way, helping them find their life path etc.

Connecting With Self by Karen Murphy

First! I have a new website! Well, not “new” exactly, but it looks completely different and has all kinds of great new stuff, so go! Take a look!

You should know, though, that when I say “I” made a new website, I really mean “Matthew” made a new website.  For me. Though I did a lot. Okay, he did a lot. We all know that. I am forever indebted. And I may never completely learn Joomla, and I have accepted that. I’ve moved on.  Don’t give it another thought.

So! Here I am in Atlanta! And when I say “Atlanta” I actually mean “the airport somewhere near the city of Atlanta,” because I am only here for three hours sucking electricity out through some holes in a column next to this rather uncomfortable blue vinyl seat while I (and when I say “I”, I mean “we”) await our next airplane, the one bound for Tucson where I am giving a metaphysical workshop for a group of people there this weekend.

And I also hear there is a pool. And it is something close to 80 degrees there. So after the workshops I am giving on connecting to your Power Animal and Learning to Channel and two group channeling demonstrations and personal channeling sessions, I will be ready to douse my fire in the pool. And then maybe the hot tub. And then some decent Mexican food, because there is none in all of Pennsylvania, and believe me I have checked.

And then after the workshop weekend Matthew and I will board separate planes bound in opposite directions, and I will come home to a very much more empty house.

And then the next chapter begins.

Yesterday I was feeling a bit sad/depressed/overwhelmed/angry (I forget which, exactly), and Matthew suggested I do some energy work with an entity we’ve been working with.

Oh wow, look at that! Your eyes just rolled up inside your head when I said “energy work” and “entity”! That was so cool! Do it again, please?

Okay, let’s just get past that part, shall we? (It only gets weirder from now on anyway)

So I sort of curled up into a fetal position for some reason on the green chair in the livingroom which I hate (the chair, not the livingroom, and said chair WILL GO at some point), and closed my eyes and invited the energy in.

I started seeing something vaguely dreamlike at that point:

For some reason, it was important that I use a sword to cut off my own head. There was, rather understandably I think, some resistence to this, but I knew that in the long run it would be a good thing. Still, the resistance persisted, but after a bit I noticed I was looking down at my severed head rather dispassionately. Someone else, possibly Matthew, appeared at my side and I said, “Look, it’s my head. Huh.” He said, “I know,” and we walked across a little meadow into the edge of a nearby forest together, where we knelt down to look at something precious that was growing there, a tiny plant that bloomed with my face. It was clearly a new version of me that was growing there, and there was an incredible feeling of tenderness toward this small plant, tenderness and good wishes. Around us a number of other people appeared, dancing in the forest. Most of them were also growing from the earth, in various stages of growth and height, and they were all accepting and relatively joyful, acknowedging their place in the world.

Umm…so what does this mean? It seems rather obviously symbolic, yet, is there something more perhaps?

Okay, some questions:

1. Why a sword? A Japanese sword, for that matter (I didn’t mention that part). I can only guess that severing your own head with a sword isn’t easy.

2. What happened to my severed head afterward? And how was it that I already had a new one?

3. Do you know how weird it is to see your head growing out of a plant? And what’s the lifespan of a person-plant? Wasn’t there a movie about this? And why am I reminded of Audrey II?

It’s kind of funny to discover after years and years that you’re apparently incapable of really resting. It turns out, though, and it’s odd I never noticed this until recently, that I pretty much all the time hold myself in a constant state of tension, of contraction, of defense.

You’d think such a thing would be noticeable, you know? That like ALL my muscles are constantly contracted?

It also explains my living on 4-5 hours sleep a night and the almost insatiable need to Just.Keep.Going.

Well, apparently I’ve had enough.

I first noticed this on my working/vacation in October. The one I still haven’t really posted about, oh, except for this and this and this and this and this. Um, so I guess I did sort of post about it. Whatever. But what I didn’t mention was that while I was there I was really, really, really tired. More so than usual. Even when sleeping in for days at a time for the first time in years and years; in fact, that seemed to almost make things worse. It was like something was telling me slow down.

Yes. Well. That feeling seems to have followed me, as if I am looking for rest, looking to finally unburden myself and just BE.

So we’ve been talking about True Rest recently, Matthew and me. This is a metaphysical-ish concept that’s talked about in the Michael teachings stuff and a lot of people are interested in knowing their own True Rest, True Play, True Study, and True Work. Often that’s the sort of thing I channel for people, and I think it’s useful in getting to know yourself and allowing the True You to come out a bit more, you know?

And I figured out this week what mine is, one of them, anyway. It has to do with watching the patterns light makes, form and shape and whatnot. Like watching the shadows made on a wall by the sun coming through miniblinds. Just observing them, looking at them. For me, it’s restful.

There’s much more about rest and what it is, what it does for you, at this wiki site about channeling. I found it fascinating. (Um, maybe because it’s my work, whatever. But it’s still good stuff, so do have a look! Plus there’s more channeling there too, with more added all the time)

I’ve been working on this new gig at Work It, Mom! for months now, talking about what sort of space to offer there, fine-tuning the details.  In the end we decided to opt for something that will change ultimately, rather than waiting for that change to take place first, and I couldn’t be happier. I love being part of something new, being part of change.

Anyway, if you’re not familiar with this site you might want to head over there!  Aimed at working moms, it’s a fast-growing social-networking site that has a welcoming feel.  There’s a variety of blogs there from some familiar faces on a whole bunch of topics, plus there’s a ton of articles, interviews etc.  One part I like is a section that you can personalize and chronicle your days or your feelings, etc., and the whole thing really is a nice community. So go! Join!

And my part is a twice-weekly blog about spiritual stuff, a place to relax and unwind, etc.  I’ll be offering ways to de-stress blah blah blah and we’ll all just go on this wonderful journey together, so do have a look!

At least, not a thought that’s printable.

But! (nice segue there) At least I heard back about the small claims court thing from last week. So glad I got dressed up for THAT one!

(Why yes, that was intentionally ambiguous, why do you ask?)

Oh! The NaNoWriMo thing. And the writing-ahead-for-the-two-new-jobs thing. And the Posting Queen at Strollerderby thing. All on hiatus! Apparently. Because, when something’s important to me, then I get all FUCK YOU IMPORTANT THING, I’LL SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO! And then I watch an entire season, okay half a season, of 30 Rock in one night. With popcorn. AND butter. I tell you, I know a thing or two about self-destructive behavior, I do!

Yeah. And then I went out and bought some Tic-Tacs.

So today? I managed to Not Write pretty much all day. Yay me!

Oh, and there’s no internet connection here.  I hate that.  I even unplugged stuff and then plugged it back in.  Still nada.  So thanks, Jennie, who is apparently a neighbor or something, for your wireless connection.

So I guess it’s time I show you my podcast.   It’s really quite awesome.

I’ve been thinking about change lately. Well hello, embrace me, Change! Why yes, I have, thank you. Actually, I have been enjoying a certain amount of staticness lately, and I’ve been really proud of how I have maintained all sorts of balance under various circumstances.

Which makes me think it’s all bullshit, and the whole house of cards is going to come tumbling down on me pretty soon. I can feel it, actually. I can feel an undercurrent of Things and Issues and Patterns waiting to bubble up to the surface again. I can only push them back under so long, you know? Because I really embrace change, I truly do, and I embrace self-awareness and growth and all that good stuff. So I am getting ready for the onslaught that surely will come, and why hello, you get to go on that journey with me! How nice! Because I am blogging daily regardless.

Word count NaNoWriMo: 1891. Was shooting for 2000, but this is decent. Only 29 more days of this to go.

And, oh! How about the monthly channeled message for November? You wanted to see that, right? I think I’ll just paste it in right here. And the whole year’s other messages are here; go see what a wonderful year you have been having!

Monthly Message November 2007

This indeed is a season of change for many. What began manifesting through natural events and through a sensation of transformation has grown into a much deeper experience for some. Old patterns are being unearthed and examined, laying the fields bare for new thoughts, responses and reactions to eventually emerge, leaving behind what has been discarded to be used as energetic compost to assist others in similar patterns of experience. Oh, do you feel you are the only one in the universe having this experience? Indeed you are not, and indeed there are many who share your experience, yes even THAT ONE, and it is through your undeniable connection that even allows you to acknowledge the truths of your own dark experiences, the ones you are just now coming to be able to shed light upon. It is this shared experience, this universal and human commonality, that forever links you, forever, and inextricably links you, to everyone and everything else. It can be no other way, do you see?

Think of yourself now, then, as but an atom in a field just recently cleared for harvest. One atom amid thousands, millions, trillions of others, all awaiting the sunlight, the rain, and time to bring what will eventually be much growth and then another harvest. It is an unending cycle, this cycle of clearing, waiting, growth, and harvest. It occurs over and over and over again, and no part of this cycle can occur alone, no part is any less than any other part, and each part relies upon each of the others. Do you see how it is all linked? And you are but one atom in this field of incredible transformation, one atom forever a part of every other atom, forever a part of the entire growth and transformation and eventual death cycle, one atom without which the entire system would be incomplete.

It is this unending hopefulness that we wish to bring you today, this assurance that you ARE a necessary part of a whole, that you ARE indeed a wholeness yourself, that you ARE acting out of choice in every moment. For all of these are true. There is no choice you could make at any time that would lead to disaster not chosen, no choice you could make that would lead to difficulties you are unable to move through. For you we wish to impart the thought that everything is simply a matter of perception; indeed, all change, all transformation, is only a difference in perception. And if you come to varying places in your ability to perceive, it will indeed feel as if change has taken place within your life, will it not?

In the next month, then, you will continue to perceive differences in your perception. How could you not? The act of simply breathing brings a change in your perceptions. Breathe in, breathe out. Life is no more difficult than that. In and out. Round and round. Change will occur around you even if you do nothing but breathe and stand still. For time will pass, even though time is simply a way of perceiving in itself, and your perceptions will change. And you will continue to feel transformation, sometimes wrenchingly, sometimes gently, but always present. By moving into this possibility, by accepting your every breath as an agent of change, you create additional space for the transformation yet to come.

Breathe in, then, and create your own space. Breathe out and prepare your fields. Embrace yourself, for you ARE the change you see in the world.

Part of this breaking down and recreating process I talked about yesterday has to do with the whole process I’ve been using not only for my work as a channel but also in maintaining access to my ow inner strength and intuition. Now, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, thinking about some of the mechanics of what I do, and thinking about how they are changing. It was really useful, then, as I lay not sleeping in bed for over three hours early this morning (note to self: next time, just get up. It saves time later) to remember my journey several years ago in becoming able and comfortable in reaching toward my own inner strength and source of intuition. Interested in hearing about it? I wrote about the process, breaking it down to its most fundamental parts, over on Springing Light. Plus there’s a fun thing you can do right now to help access your own intuition. Go have a look!

Want something else fun? We’re getting into podcasting! Want to hear me channel on the topic of Community? Then head over to Loving Awareness and hear what I do!  And then be sure to have a look at what Matthew wrote about Joy.

And an update: getting closer to being able to announce details of now 2/3 of the three new gigs coming up! You SO want to know more, don’t you?

I’ve mentioned before that this shared-custody schedule that the children endure is somewhat…erratic, haven’t I? Erratic in that no two weeks are the same. No two months are the same. There is a general trend in which The Ex’s days tend to be mid-week while mine tend to encompass the weekends, but it’s not safe to assume anything. And things change frequently.

This morning I was happily talking to my hair guy Russell about this major turning point in his life when I received a call on my cell phone. The thing is practically useless these days, as NOBODY calls me on it (I will give you the number if you ask me because, seriously, I am so not using my minutes these days), so I was surprised to feel my pocket vibrating. Oh, stop it. Not like that (a little to the right, maybe…..hey! stop that!).

Anyway. it was The Ex, asking if I wouldn’t mind babysitting my own kids for a couple of hours this afternoon. I had plans (work! and more work! because I am behind!), but sometimes there are good reasons to do people favors and this seemed to be the time.

So I got to see Eric for 2 hours and Nathaniel for an hour and Serena for no hours, because of their respective bus schedules. And then they went back with The Ex for dinner only to come right back here before bedtime.

Which was their undoing.

Unless their dinner consisted of Nilla Wafers and ice cream and maybe just Karo syrup mainlined right into the bloodstream, because there was more than a tinge of hyperactivity going on.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all about the multi-tasking. I am used to three people all talking to me at once while I am doing a fourth thing. I am okay with that, most days.

Today, my brain exploded into little bits all over the ceiling and the coffee table and my laptop. Right after I repeatedly jabbed a pencil into my eardrum in response to the incessant sounds and the assault of energy and the questions, always with the questions!

1. Nathaniel spoke in a monotone for 20 minutes while he did some stupid English homework assignment.

2. Eric rolled on the floor, laughing.

3. Serena repeated the same three phrases over and over.

After I wiped off the laptop on which I was attempting to write a post and look up story ideas for tomorrow’s Strollerderby (as if discussing the merits of parental suicide today wasn’t enough), I herded them all upstairs to brush teeth, etc.

Finally we were gathered in my room for the nightly story.

Except I had left my brain shattered on the coffee table.

So I had us all sit in a circle on my bed and hold hands. Instantly, things changed. I could feel the energy of each of the four of us move through our hands in a pulsating, circular motion. Eric sat opposite me and held Nathaniel’s hand and Serena’s hand, yet I felt his energy as well.

It was wonderful, and I could feel the shattered bits inside my head regenerate themselves. I could feel my wholeness again, and I could feel the wholeness of each of the children.

Which all makes sense considering I had just written this new post up at Springing Light.  Go see!